January 30, 2006

Sympathy for the Santa Monica Pier

Above were million dollar malibu mobile homes hanging on the western edge of the world. below where the sea and sand meet were wealth rooftops and fame the insurance companies would never claim. and between, i sat. in the seat. incomplete.

in a black car. in a black night. like long black hair. with fingers in between. tangled up and trying to feel something i could see. and to be seen. but it was far to dark there beside the sea. and outside the window the world was moving fast. i was thinking slow and watched the horizon as the Santa Monica pier reached out into the dark. blindly but shining bright with a ferris wheel. and i wondered how it would feel to reach so far and to reach for so long and never touch what it was trying for.

"you can't escape pain, or saying goodbye, within this life" i was told quite recently, in such a way, as if to say that life is like a ferris wheel that goes around but in the end, always lets you down.

remarkedly, very comforatbly, i sat in my seat on the ride heading straight between the white lines on hwy. 1. but in my mind going round and round and wondering what it would be like to have myself to be found on stable ground. within this life on a black night. or in a black car. or anywhere where the situation affords me to say hello. face to face. in one place. and to stay that way.

and not have to say goodbye.

and not be reaching out

and in the dark

on the horizon line

while spinning around like the Santa Monica pier late on a monday night.

Posted by Todd Roeth at January 30, 2006 12:33 AM