January 01, 2006

New Year's Day

She opened her eyes, looked outside and smiled. She said she hadn't seen the sun shine in Ohio in quite a while.

The sky glowed flat and pale above the rooftops like the champagne left out all night. The black maple trees without leaves stretched into the light, breaking the sky like cracks in a porcelain doll. It was quiet and i couldn't hear anything but my head and heart pounding, both for very different reasons but feeling the same.

I wanted to close my eyes and fall asleep there for the year. I wanted to close my eyes and have my head stop pounding. I wanted to close my eyes and have my heart keep beating. I wanted to close my eyes and not have to leave. not have to keep moving. not have to turn around, think ahead, and not have to look back.

As it were, my eyes remained open. My head kept pounding. The calendar was turned. Blood flowed. The clock moved. My heart trembled. The door closed. The engine started. and she drove away. The exhaust trailed down the street like a vapor trail on a jet plane. The champagne sky fell flat between the cracks in the maple trees.

And I stood still on the street. The only thing not moving. At least not in the same direction. at the same time, on the same day, month or year as anybody else. For a minute between the pains in my head, i ran the variables of the last 3 years. down the street i faintly heard her shift to fourth gear. Too many options can kill a man, i have heard.

So can one; if you have no idea how to make it happen.

Posted by Todd Roeth at January 1, 2006 11:42 AM