November 16, 2003

Three Things

"Do you think when you are playing the drums?" mugur asked as he wheeled the antiquated wheelchair around the table and leaned back into the wicker and wood.

Dave replied, "sure. i wonder what in the world he is doing next." as he pointed at arvai and began to laugh.

The others had left and and we were sitting around a table in front of his stage. The room was at the back of his studio, past the countless chisels, vices, and piles upon piles of wood chips that have accumilated under his benches like scales from a butterfly's cocoon, and the shapes that laid silently above the wooden scales on the bench were as gentle and as graceful as one flying away from its metamorphosis.

"He played wonderful tonight." Dave continued.

i agreed. earlier i was sitting by myself beside the piano and watched Arvai and Andre sit side by side. Their fingers moved like cylnders in a sports car engine. they pressed the keys with precision and timing, driving from rythms and timing encrypted in the sheet music that laid tattered and stoic on the stand in front of them.

i watched them play the piano. i watched dave behind his drum kit smilling. i watched their eyes as they stared into the invisible music that was right in front of them, but so far way from me.

i sat by myself beside the piano and realized that some art makes time stand still, while others use time as it's medium. and as the tempo flexed and fluttered i realized that andre and arvai weren't reading the music that laid tattered and stoic on the stand in front of them. They were reading each other. and there were no words or thoughts exchanged between them. without knowing it, they were making the time that moved through the evening dance.

"no, when it is right, we are not thinking about it." arvai replied.

Dave agreed with a smile. "music, art, and women are the three things that are like that." he said. "And when you find them, and you connect, thinking about them doesn't do it justice. you can only feel it."

By reflex, my mind gathered everything in my life that he was talking about and slammed them into the center of my brain like the like the big bang theory played in reverse. orange and blue horses ran through lighting storms and sunrises as picasso's crow and sat with the woman and listened to a million notes of music dressed up as alphabets in illuminated manuscripts that read every word i have ever remembered in my life.

"and you know, tonight was such a treat to play with andre." Dave continued on as beauty continued to collide in my head. "it is such a shame that more people don't understand great music and the people who play it."

as music faded in my head and the horses galloped away, i returned to the conversation.

"i thought you were amazing," he said to arvai, "and then to meet your teacher!"

"and did you you know andre has played at the Lincoln Center 4 times this past season?" arvai added.

Suddenly i began to understand realativity of fame and success by way of making art. i leaned back in the chair. i looked at the stage and the studio and the millions of chisled strokes of wood that laid on the floor and thought about and how much art will never be seen. i thought about how much music will never be heard. i thought about all the things i felt about her that will never be abe to explain. i was surrounded by sculptures and just had a front row seat to an international concert pianist as he played the piano like and made the sleepy evening dance.

i thought about how many people in the world would be envious of my situation leaning back in that chair.

i thought about how many more would never know enough to care.

i felt lucky i was there. i felt sad for the lonley world and it's tv sets and top 40 radio and it's dateless browsing the new release section at blockbuster who didn't have what i have. i felt good to think that art, music, and the right girl can make me feel that way.

and sometimes, i am learning, it feels good to not think about them at all.

Posted by Todd Roeth at November 16, 2003 01:22 AM