October 14, 2003

black tie affairs (are not fair)

I was carrying out the trellis under which bonwag and mya were to be wed later that day. O'brien was on the other side, and when we set it down on the deck over looking the 7th hole, mya's aunt came up and tapped me on the shoulder.

"Um,. i think you look cute, but the country club people don't think so. they told mya's mom, who told me, i guess they want you to leave." she said with a sympathetic smile.

it wasn't that i purposly wanted the $400 a month pastel clad members in the club house to have to look at me with my puma's my dog chewed on, and my black t-shirt with the lion and lioness airbrushed on it from the north carolina zoo.

and as i was; they didn't want to look at me either.

and i wasn't really surprised that bonwag- and the tuxedo i was to wear- were late to their own wedding. so as i sat out on the bench by the parking lot waiting for my suit, and thus my acceptance into the establisment to arrive, i watched the old men and women stroll out of the country club and onto their golf carts. i watched the seersucker and pleats sit down on the vinyl seats of the golf carts, slam on the eletric peddle, and lurch silently down the black asphault path.

every status has it's symbol. and as a few of the men smiled at me without much effort to look sincere, i smiled back. not so much as to return the apethetic favor, but because i was thankful for the visual differences of wardrobes and age and class that we have in this world. It made me happy to realize that the tags on both of our shirts would reveal that the difference is not in the product, but in it's apperance. and apperance, is what kept me out of the bar and on the sidewalk. it is what keeps books from being read, people from talking to each other, ideas from being shared, people from learning, goods from being bought, businesses from thriving, economies from prospering, cultures from advancing, and wars from being peacefully avoided with enlightened and well-bred minds.

and thus, thoughtful, appropriate, and well designed appearances can save the world. or at least get me a drink in the club house.

So as it was, i waited on the bench for bonwag to arrive. the golfers and i were both were wearing %50-%50 cotton polyester blend on our backs. and they were both likely made in Malyasia/ Sri Lanka/ or some country that would remind us that mere fact that we here can choose what we wear is embrarassingly overlooked. and they might even have the same vendor number stitched on the back of the care tag in back of the collar. the difference is that theirs had a bigger collar that folded down. and mine displayed a beautiful painting of the rare and powerful kings of the giant cat family, which once lived in the very contintnent in which all of our fine garments were manufactured. - until the very jungles they lived in began being destroyed, and in the mountains eroded, to make the t-shirt factories.

There i was, on the bench waiting for the groom, with my t-shirt honoring the top of the food chain on the great African Savannah, and furthermore- lamenting the realities of the world. and there was everyone else, in their pale pink and green plaid shorts with their wallets bulging out of the pockets with the fake pearl buttons.

There i was, celebrating the visual differncences in the world and what they can control.

There i was, realizing there is no such thing as ugly.

And there i was, thankful, that, while i couldn't be in with the other groomsman on a bar stool, at least no one was wearing abercrombie and fitch.

The tux came, and i was allowed to attend the wedding. The Black tie was also my ticket to the dance floor. and after the second set from the band, i had worked up sweat swinging my Beautiful dance partner across the floor. So as perez and i cooled off at our table with some Old Crow on the rocks, i took off my dress shirt, leaned on perez's knee, and let the big cats growl to honor the North Carolina Zoo, the chance at World Peace, and to Bonwag and Mya's long and happy marriage.

Posted by Todd Roeth at October 14, 2003 01:13 AM