October 06, 2003
what money can buy
"the lottery was $150 million last week." he said over the hum of the interstate passing under us.
"I bought a ticket on the way work with my coffee," he contiuned, " and i was thinking on the way to work, after taxes, it is about $50 million. Cash it out and you get an allowance of about $670,000 a year for fifty years. what would you do with that money?"
"i would give it to you to tell me what to do with it all." i replied. already the math was giving me a headache.
"yeah but how would you spend it?" he continued as he changed lanes.
Without much of a wait, i answered, " i guess i would keep doing what i do now."
"being with friends and getting inspiration from them and using it to make my work for them. only i wouldn't be broke anymore."
feeling i wasn't puting the thought into the coverstaion he was hoping for, he offered his own solution. "Here is what i would do:"
"the biggest burden in our life is this-" he began, and pointed at the time on the green LED clock in the dashboard. " So i would quit my job," he continued, "and i would travel the world. I would quit my job, and take my time. it is plenty of money to get around. I could travel to exotic places for 3 or four months at a time, just learning and seeing, and deciding what to spend all the rest on. and i would still have plenty of money left over each year."
The sun was setting. the girls were sleeping in the back. one on the other's lap, and the other against the black suit cases wedged between the seat and the hardtop. he was staring ahead thinking it through, and the clock on the dashboard waited to change.
"How do i know right now what i could spend it on?" he asked.
"and after half my life i think i would know what i wanted to spend all the rest on. but sitting here right now i know i have no idea what is out there. How do i know what to buy? there are things i have no idea about."
"i think i would also pay people to be my friends and go with me from time to time." he added with an involentary smile
i looked back the sleeping girls with hair as gold as the sun and as black as the night. i looked out at the setting sun and the dying fields of crops affored a season of life courtesy of the last continental glaciation. i pictured him searching in polynesian grass huts and deep damp equitorial jungles and lonely siberain bunkers. i looked at the time on the green LED clock in the dashboard. i thought about what he had said and what it meant.
and i realized that knowing what i want to do in this life can be as important as doing it. but sometiems even more expensive. and that even without the burden of time in our life, we are still pressed by the length of our lifetime.
and that all the money in the world, and all the time of a life can't buy certantity. all the money in the world, and all the time of a life can't buy clarity. all the money in the world, and all the time of a life can't buy peace of mind.
and that you don't need a dime in the bank or even in second on the clock to know that you don't have any of them.
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