(See what I am saying?): seeing is believing

September 07, 2003

seeing is believing

It was about midnight when i left the conversations about digital photography, bun length hot dogs, and getting a book published, got up off the lawn chair, and walked to the far corner of the rooftop. I guess i did it because i need to remember these things for myself. I need to remember to see them. I need to try to believe them.

Below me were the black tied waiters waiting under their maroon and incandecent lit awnings. Below me were the prostitutes waiting in their black dresses. Below me was the wrought iron fences, the brownstone steps, the taxicabs, the fruit stands, light, motion, art, and archicture. Below me were things i understood, and things i didn't. Below me was everything i believed in; and everything i didn't.

I turned around. I needed to be at the very edge to see it all. There in front of me under the 60 watt lightbulb on the tarpaper roof were the actors, the fashion designers, the photographer from France, the interior designer, the playwright, the directors, and the producers.

As the music played, the wine poured, and the lights from Time Square shone bright, the 20-something crowd of New york City danced, talked, and laughed on the rooftop. I stood there on the edge, looking back at them, and realized that they are what they are because, if for nothing else, they see themselves as such; and that they believe, and they don't believe, and that they have no idea.

and i realized that they are just like me.

I stood there alone at the edge and watched the party. i looked the actors, the fashion designers, the photographer from France, the interior designer, the playwright, the directors, and the producers

- and then finally, i saw myself.

and decided, for at least just one night of my life, to join the party, and believe in what i see.

Posted by Todd Roeth at September 7, 2003 09:55 PM

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