(See what I am saying?): 12 items or less

June 03, 2003

12 items or less

I had just dropped sam off at his house. We had just gotten out of the darkroom and i was hungry. As i drove away from his house the bricks in the street started to shine with the rain that was quietly dripping through the canopy of elm trees along sam's street. Cat Powers cooed on the stereo speakers and prada hung her head out the back window like a sleeping horse in it's stall.

I always enojoy my talks with sam, and tonight was no exception. he got me thinking about a conversation i had earlier today:

I was walking along college green with mugur and lindsay, two classmates who were voicing their concern about the conflicting agendas that arise during the last two weeks of undergraduate life.

"I have to write a paper on existentialism." mugur declared with chagrin.

"what is existentialism?" i asked.

they both sort of sighed and tried to tell me what it was, which led me to believe they had no idea what it was; so i assumed they understood exactly what it meant.

I was thinking about that, and things sam had told me tonight as i the automatic double glass doors of kroger bowed open to greet me to the flourecent and linoloum within. supermarkets at midnight on modays are placid places to ponder. I was standing in the frozen food aisle trying to pronounce the ingredients on a swanson t.v. dinner as the man with the 28" circular floor buffer somberly walked up and down the ailse past me as if i were invisible.

Through the dairy aisle my flip flops echoed on the lemon yellow linoloum.

"what the hell is existentialism?" i kept thinking. and does it really matter if i don't know what it means?

I am coming to the concluison that the act of getting educated is rather anti-climactic. The process is much like driving down the road in the fog. and as my lights get brighter, i am not able to see where i am driving any better, but instead, i only see more fog.

"So so what if i don't understand existentialism" i resloved as i passed the cut-out head shot of rosie o'donnell on the tabloid at the checkout counter.

"How's it going?" i asked the man working the checkout counter as i held my jalapeno nacho cheese dip.

"Well. I am here." he declared.

"would you like paper or plastic?"

Posted by Todd Roeth at June 3, 2003 12:46 AM

Comments

a little late, but since this now is the same as the now that day, i don't think it matters, anyway, you were right, the loose explanation of existentialism came through perfectly, so much is said without words. It's funny, that i remember that day, even the way i answered, not the words, just how i felt when i did, and here i am half a year later...i think the clerk said it best.

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