March 16, 2003
Austin memoirs #0
This is being written on the inside of a vomit bag on and MD-80 at 33,000' over the fine state of Tennessee. Normally i would cram these thoughts in the empty spaces of my mind, and purge them every so often into this contraption. But right now, i can't bear to let myself see the wretched situation i am trapped in. I need a distraction.
So instead of reading the Skymall or the pictorial step by step instructions for surviving an airplane crash over open water (for the third time), here i write.
I have to keep my head down and keep writing. I can't look up. If i dare do, i know what i will see. Since take-off, there has been a guy 5 rows up who keeps picking at a scab right square on top of the bald patch on his head. It is horribly agonizing for me to watch. But i can't help but to notice. I am quite sure i am the only one here that sees this. and right now it is the only thing that i can think about in this entire universe. It is not so much that is downright disgusting, but more because of the whole anticipation of him reaching up and feeling around for it and scraping his skull once his fumbling fingers find it. I am sitting here finding my ownself countng down from 60. Because i know it is coming. Every minuite almost to the second since we have left houston, he futily tries to fool himself that he is just going to nonchalantly reach up and flatten what is left of his hair. Then he starts put his arm down. But he is not fooling me. Because then, like clockwork, he goes back for his true target.
Fumble. Find. Scratch. Pick.
I can feel his obsession. I know if his hand isn't up there digging into his exposed cranium, he is wanting to. and now somehow, sickenly, i am wanting him to too. I don't know what is worse: watching him pick that wretched scab; or not, and knowing he wants to. I can't see his face. But if i could i know i would see a desparate man. All this man is to me is an anoyomous bald scalp. and a scab. with a hand. that pops up every minute on the minute.
Fumbles. Finds. Scratches. Picks.
And i hate it.
i have nothing else to say. but i have to keep writing. have to keep my head down. I know, with every ounce of certainty in my bones, that if i look up that hand will be picking at that scab. or worse. it won't be. and will have to wait until it does. jesus christ this must be hell. or at least purgatory.
i want this to stop. i wish this airbus would plummet from the sky and crash. but over water. because i know just what to do when it does.
Posted by Todd Roeth at March 16, 2003 09:58 PMi just got kicked out of the computer lab for laughing out loud. but it was ok- since i was on my way to throw up from the story anyway.
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